hey, why are you so sexy?
Beats the shit outta me.

if a bear shits in the woods, does he wipe?
Dunno, ask the bear.

ally you are so sexy.. why do we love you so much??
I ask myself that daily. Find an answer and get back to me.

why do you constantly steal my underwear and put it on your head for safekeeping?
It's fun, it's snug, and it keeps my ears warm. That's why.

do your panties read free with your purchase of 1 dinner?
Depends on who's buying.

so would you do me?
Only if you're one of the following: Brad, Lisa, Rach, the crew, GC, Daniel Johns, Fellowship (sans Gimli).

how old am i?
Quatre-vingt-seize. :)